Bellemeré is Luffy's mother

Want a crazy hypothesis? Here you have one!
(NOTE: This is for One Piece fans and may contain spoilers.)

So, Monkey D. Luffy's dad is the Revolutionary Dragon and granddad is Vice Admiral Garp. But who's his mom? I was first thinking that she was probably another revolutionary, but then I asked myself that how exactly did Garp get his hands in baby Luffy? Then I figured that Dragon might be a former Marine who had an affair with another (female) Marine. After Dragon turned against the Marines, they broke up but the girl was pregnant. Then Garp took care of her and got Luffy under his protection. I wasn't sure what happened to her then.
Then I started thinking. A female Marine soldier who had similar facial features as Luffy, was anti-authority and old enough to be his mom - Bellemeré?
Maybe that would mean that after Garp took care of Luffy, Bellemeré blamed herself for leaving him behind and took Nami and Nojiko to her foster so she could atone. Which would imply that Dragon could have saved Cocoyashi at any moment had he known about Bellemeré.
Also, Nami is, obviously, Luffy's sister, in a sense. I wonder how will LuNa fans take it. Then again, Return of the Jedi didn't stop Luke/Leia shippers at all. Unfortunately.

Speaking of One Piece, Eiichiro Oda is now married and has kids. I wonder if he still lives in that cardboard apartment.
And speaking of crazy hypotheses, Tengu of El Goonish Shive is totally Vlad Tepes Dracula. In Bram Stoker's original novel, Dracula was described as being able to shift size and shape. Tengu appears vaguely demonic, but his true form is humanoid and he mentioned being "infamously known throughout Europe". Also, he's a pervert. Totally Dracula.